Art Buchwald's "I just died video" reminds me of Yule Brenner's video after he died. "I'm Yule Brenner, and I'm dead now, because I smoked cigarettes." Bill Hicks had a bit about Jim Fixx, the runner who died of a heart attack. His video should be, "I'm Jim Fixx, and I'm dead now. What the fuck happened?"

I guess it's stuck in my mind because I watched that stand-up last week. That and I'm obsessed with Bill Hicks.

Anyway...

We're about to see some campaigns that could break records for spending. Someone on NPR said it could be a billion-dollar campaign. Which is pretty amazing if you think about it.

And this campaign has different issues to cloud the discussion. Not only can candidates drum up same-sex marriage and immigration when they want to skirt about, oh, I don't know, the war, they can also bring up Obama's race and Hillary's gender. Not that they haven't been doing that.

I'm wondering what the media will talk about in the future when immigration, black presidents, women presidents and same-sex marriages are non-issues. When all the dumb-fucks are dead and their dumb-fuck children are dead and their offspring have accepted more open-minded ideologies.

What then will the media talk about?

Not that it shouldn't be mentioned that Hillary would be the first president to have lady parts or that Obama would be the first black president. It totally should. But their candidacies aren't "I'd be the first black!" or "I've got a vajayjay!" So I'm interested in reading more about that other stuff, that stuff that will actually define their candidacies.

All that being said, I don't dislike Obama and Hillary. And I don't think Brownback has a chance in hell, per se, but I love that his name makes me like of "Brokeback."

Shock-and-awe-some.