And she was

Janelle left this morning. We got to watch "Desperate Housewives" one last time, which was only fitting.

I'll be moving to a new place this week. I'll send out the address. Until then, I'm alone in this empty house.

But enough o' that!

TV makes it all better

Those of you who care have already heard my thoughts on "Desperate Hoes" this week, but a recap:
*George had better get it good. He's been getting away with this for too long. I hope he pays.
*Susan is really lame. All the other characters seem so much more... defined. They don't suck.
*Except for John, Carlos, Karl and maybe someone else I'm missing.

TV makes it all better, part deux

"Grey's Anatomy" is growing on me.

Tonight I was with my new roommate and we watched "How I Met Your Mother," "Family Guy" and "Melrose Place."

"How I Met Your Mother": Cute. Not the most defined characters, and it lacks what "Seinfeld" and "Friends" had, but it's cute. And I am of course curious to know who the mother is! I'm guessing it will be Willow (of "Buffy") but I can't be sure. These characters have to be in the show for more than just buddy relief. He's telling a story to his kids about how he met their mother.

"Family Guy": One of the most offensive things on TV. Love it.

"Melrose Place": How did I not realize how bad this show was? Was I on meth? Ten years ago, I was eating this show up like it was hot shit. The characters are not at all cool. They're all whiny and two-dimensional. Except for Kimberly, of course. I don't know why I thought Sydney was so cool. Julie Cooper is so much more bad-ass than Sydney ever was.

See, TV can be a good coping mechanism and distraction for me. Like the rest of America.

It's moving time. Yes, I know, I just moved to this house last April, but now I move again. My roommate is going to Virginia. :(

Over the past few days, I've been tearing the room apart so I can put it back together, only to tear it apart again. I've gotten into a pretty bad organizational system (read: no system) since moving here, and I took advantage of the fact that my room was bigger than Sarah Jessica's forehead. My room on 45th might go down as the biggest room I'll ever have, and I covered almost every inch of it with clothes, newspaper, CDs, magazines, books and hats. For those of you who saw my dorm room, you can say you saw me at cleaner times.

(But I will point out that over three days in January 2003, I cleaned the room on Telluride to the point that it was cleaner than Courtney's apartment. That lasted a month.)

So, yeah, I've had my work cut out for me. Packing. Not even packing too much. Just sorting so that I can begin organizing and then pre-packing. I am not sure how I'll pull all this off but I'm confident I can.

Anywho, the whole sorting-packing process is an interesting one, because you find bits and pieces of the last few years of your life just scattered about in no real order. It's kinda like watching a Tarantino movie. At least for me, it is. Less blood, but just as many F-bombs.

So far, I've found:

*A Star Wars coloring my nephew did
*Copies of The Arizona Republic, The Los Angeles Times and The Cleveland Plain Dealer, all from election time (thanks Erica, Snoop Dub and Maureen)
*A hip-hop compilation Courtney and D gave me for my birthday a few years ago
*A Vintage Vinyl sticker
*A reporter's notebook from O-town
*A copy of the O-town paper (with a front page designed by yours truly)
*"Trivial Pursuit: 90s Edition," which Janelle gave me but we still haven't played
*Tylenol PM
*A keyboard
*Dan Savage's "The Kid"
*"Midnight In The Garden of Good and Evil," which I will be reading as soon as I finish Dan Savage's "The Commitment"
*Panama Jack tanning spray
*Derek's swimming trunks
*Architecture in Helsinki, "In Case We Die"
*A flashlight
*Jimmy Hoffa

So, yeah.

I heart quizzes. This one makes me seem more liberal and socialist than I am, but then again, who said computers are a fool-proof way to figure things out. Besides HAL, of course.

You are a Social Liberal (63% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (16% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Like I said, quizzes aren't always accurate (this one is not exactly representative of how I view myself), but, hey, people love comparison-y interactive things. I think most people (myself included) love being able to look at stuff like this and try to find themselves. "Where am *I* on this chart/graph/etc.?"

We like interactive charts and stuff because WE can be the subject.

Yup, I basically just admitted that my job is an extension of your self-centeredness. Which is cool. Now, every time you wink at yourself in the mirror, you can think that you're exercising the same vanity that allows Pat to eat. And thus you'll feel like a better person.

Until you remember that you're ogling yourself in the mirror and taking quizzes about yourself.

I wonder if Harriet Miers has trouble sleeping at night. Does she, too, wonder who the father of Theresa's baby is? Do she and her girlfriends call each other up and dish the dirt on the episodes? Does she, too, wonder what has happened to Paul, Zach, and Felicia? Does she zone out in the shower, wondering whether Josh Schwartz and Marc Cherry will leave us hanging or finally let us in on it all?

That's the stuff we really need to know about her.

Sadly, people are focusing on other issues, like the fact that Harriet Miers has never been a judge and there's very little info on what her politics are like. Her lack of skeletons in the closet has even The NYT writing articles about her being a Christian, because they can't find anything else to write about. Pubic hairs on Coke cans? Illegal immigrants? No such luck with this nominee.

But does the American public really care about that? It's not that I think she should get head under the desk or that she should pay seven-year-olds pennies a day for sweat shops. I would think those are bad traits for a Supreme Court judge to have, yeah, but I'm so obsessed with TV that I don't care. All I want to know is if she watches my shows.

Isn't that horrible? This woman could be a swinger (and not the fun kind) on so many issues, and yet all I care about is her stance on Teri Hatcher's hair and Mischa Barton's boobs. Granted, I know all the things I should know about her (thanks to my profession). But I've also read a lot about Laura Bush and the thing that I find the most interesting is not her views on this or that or any issue. It's that she watches "Desperate Housewives." Yeah, you can argue that WASP-y women are boring, but I think it's more of a sign that my priorities are really fucked up and I care way too much about my shows.

I called my sister yesterday and got the following rundown of her family's day: "I'm in the kitchen cleaning the sink, Brad's on his way back from the Chiefs game and Mike is in his room, writing down all the football teams he knows."

My brother-in-law has shown my nephew how to look up the scores in the sports pages and my sister has bought him a poster with all the team logos on it. He loves making lists, and he'll run through the kitchen asking, "Are these guys in the AFC or the NFC?"

Unfortunately, Mike is not a baseball fan. In fact, he dislikes baseball. He says it's hot and boring. I told my sister that he'll appreciate it better when he can have beer at the games. Somehow, she wasn't too comforted by that.

Many international businesses are talking of merging, we have a new chief justice, Tom DeLay has been indicted and the Vatican is likely to ban boy-kissers from the seminaries and priesthood. Big news.

But fuck that shit. We have more pressing matters to discuss.

Who is that white man living in Betty Applewhite's basement? Why does she have him in there? I, myself, have a white man in the basement, but I at least let him out every once in a while.

Where is Zach Young? Paul Young? Felicia Tillman? And why are Lynette's storylines the lamest ones?

I am of course talking about "Desperate Housewives."

And I got some questions for "The O.C." Who hits the school disciplinarian? What school disciplinarian makes out with students? And when will that Chili guy get run over, eliciting a "yay" from at least one living room in the Carolinas? Bitch needs to go.

Also of note is "Grey's Anatomy." Janelle made me watch tonight's episode. I am not sure I am "hooked" yet, but there is something to be said about a fat white guy who eats doll heads so he can crap them out. (I'm talking about a character from the show, not myself).

These are the things we all really care about.