Monday, February 28, 2005
-Chris Rock
The Oscar party was indeed fantastic, as we watched Chris Rock make fun of everyone. I typically don't go for awards shows, as my A.D.D. kicks in, but Chris Rock is a good enough reason to have a party.
Thanks to those of you who helped with the menu.
The menu was... (drum roll please)
"Aviator" chicken wings
Supporting rolls (sausage rolls)
"Kinsey" nuts
"Passion"-fruit punch
"Hotel Rwanda" Tutsi rolls (Toosie rolls)
"Sideways" wine
"Shrek 2" green Jell-O shots (served in Shrek Dixie cups)
Not having any Oscar theme, but still good:
A big sandwich
Chili dip
Janelle pizza (made BY Janelle, not OF Janelle)
Dill oyster crackers
Girl Scout cookies (in honor of their yummy-ness, and our mayor, who apparently hates Girl Scouts)
Other good suggestions...
From Jeff:
How about hiring some strippers and throwing bologna slices at their bare asses? oh wait, that's an Oscar Meyer party. Maybe you should get various soda brands and do a "Ray" blind taste test.
From Dan:
Some Lemony Snickets (either candy or bars)
Maria, full of grapes
Hi-C inside (clearly I'm stretching here)
And dig/scrape out the nastiest, spoiled food you can find ... The Inedibles
So now I'm trying to think of other party ideas...
I'll be working when the Cardinals have their first game, and even so, it probably won't be broadcast here.
I do want to DVR the next city council meeting. Maybe we can turn that into a party. And a drinking game.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
It only seemed right to juxtapose these stories this way. Good for Head, I hope he'll be happy. Just as long as he's not looking to be a Catholic or a boy-kisser, because boy-kissers everywhere, Catholic or not, are in a pissing match with the pope. Er, let me rephrase that. The pope is in a pissing match with the boy-kissers. Again.
Korn guitarist finds God, leaves band [CNN]
Pope: Gay marriage is 'evil' [CNN]
I think most reporters who cover public meetings secretly wish that someone will make a big scene. It was a fun part of covering faculty council, because you never knew what Eddie would say or do. And it was fun to copy edit stories involving H*nry L@ne and his crazy-ass girlfriend.
Well, here in Murder Beach, they broadcast the meetings on local access and last night one of the council members made a presentation about how awful he thinks the mayor is and how he hates God and how he's said horrible things about Catholics, Jews and girl scouts.
To which someone watching said, "How can you hate the Catholics AND the Jews? Don't you normally have to pick one or the other?"
Yes, the South has fried some brains.
I hope that people watching it at home made a drinking game out of it. The only thing that would have made it better would be if Henry and his crazy-ass girlfriend showed up. Eleven hours is a long way to come to act crazy, but then again, he's a man who doesn't understand that, so I dare him to come down. He'll get his 55 cents worth.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Thanks for the movie suggestions. So far, I've watched "Bill Engvall: Here's Your Sign" and "Spellbound." Still have "Napoleon Dynamite" and "Super Size Me." Next will be "Garden State," "Thirteen" and "Coffee and Cigarettes." Wheeee. I love movies.
10 Things You Never Knew About Me***
(besides that I like stealing things from Erica)
*Two days after my 10th birthday, I met Clarence Thomas, who was about to be sworn in as a Supreme Court Justice. My sister was working for a senator at the time and ended up indirectly working with Clarence. U.S. News & World Report was profiling Clarence that day, and so the photog took a picture of me and Clarence, which Clarence later signed with a note.
*I wrote my first script when I was 12. "Drought Doggies" was a teleplay about a Baltimore dog kennel, written for my sixth grade language arts class. We had read "The Secret Garden" teleplay and been taught about how screenplays were written and constructed. I got so into it that I ended up writing "Star Quest," a sci-fi space epic set on an unnamed planet in a post-Earth universe. I never finished it, because 80 pages in, the computer caught something and the document was lost. Forever. The story was meant to be told in seven parts (read: seven movies), but I was so frustrated by the computer setback that I never even tried to recreate it.
*Inspired by "Monster Squad" and Stephen King's "It," I wrote a novel when I was nine, centering on a group of nine-year-olds who stumble upon a group of zombies. The zombies, when they had been living, had been Greek aristocrats in the 1500s. At the age of nine, I had been aware that Greece had once been a world super-power, but I was a little foggy as to when. Hence why the script was set 2,000 years after the country's relevance in world politics. I started a sequel, but alas, I never finished it.
*I secretly love Shania Twain. A lot. And it's not her. It's her music. I know, I know, it's a guilty pleasure I should never admit. Hence why I've been secretive about it for the last six years.
*The meat of my name is Martin, my middle name. It comes from my grandpa's cousin, "Uncle Mart," who was close to my grandpa and stayed close with my dad and grandma after my grandpa died when my dad was 8. Patrick is the middle name of all three of my brothers, but I'm glad I was Patrick Martin rather than Martin Patrick.
*I was a huge fan of "The X-Files" and "Millennium." When I was 16, I made a website celebrating my obsession with both shows. I know, I was a big loser.
*I went to kindergarten and first grade with O.J. Smith, son of former Cardinal Ozzie Smith. And O.J. (now going by Osbourne) was on an early episode of "American Idol: Season 4." Thus, I am distantly connected to Kelly Clarkson. Not that I find that to be all that brag-worthy.
*I played trumpet from fifth to eighth grade. To this day, a lot of the people I like tend to be band geeks, either horn-players or drum corps folks. If you played something other than a horn or drums, then feel free to correct my gaffe, but most of you ARE hornies or drum corps folks.
*I was a huge WWF fan from ages 9 to 12. I collected a lot of the action figures and even had a letter published in WWF Magazine. My zeal for said "sport" was cut short when Crush was busted for steroids and my dad wanted me to find a new, "healthier" interest. I did find a new interest: Mad Magazine.
*My friend Ned and I formed a club called Get Rid Of Barney (G.R.O.B. for short). G.R.O.B. grew out of our love for Calvin and Hobbes' G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy girlS) as well as our disdain for Ned's sisters' obsession with Barney. We had G.R.O.B. baseball caps and even got a Barney figurine to defile in our planned "March Against Barney." He and I were the only two people who showed up for the march, though, so we just sang foul versions of the Barney theme song while walking to the neighborhood drug store for candy.
***Chances are, you know at least one of these things, as I drone on and on. Of course, you might have been one of the wiser ones, and tuned me out.
(besides that I like stealing things from Erica)
*Two days after my 10th birthday, I met Clarence Thomas, who was about to be sworn in as a Supreme Court Justice. My sister was working for a senator at the time and ended up indirectly working with Clarence. U.S. News & World Report was profiling Clarence that day, and so the photog took a picture of me and Clarence, which Clarence later signed with a note.
*I wrote my first script when I was 12. "Drought Doggies" was a teleplay about a Baltimore dog kennel, written for my sixth grade language arts class. We had read "The Secret Garden" teleplay and been taught about how screenplays were written and constructed. I got so into it that I ended up writing "Star Quest," a sci-fi space epic set on an unnamed planet in a post-Earth universe. I never finished it, because 80 pages in, the computer caught something and the document was lost. Forever. The story was meant to be told in seven parts (read: seven movies), but I was so frustrated by the computer setback that I never even tried to recreate it.
*Inspired by "Monster Squad" and Stephen King's "It," I wrote a novel when I was nine, centering on a group of nine-year-olds who stumble upon a group of zombies. The zombies, when they had been living, had been Greek aristocrats in the 1500s. At the age of nine, I had been aware that Greece had once been a world super-power, but I was a little foggy as to when. Hence why the script was set 2,000 years after the country's relevance in world politics. I started a sequel, but alas, I never finished it.
*I secretly love Shania Twain. A lot. And it's not her. It's her music. I know, I know, it's a guilty pleasure I should never admit. Hence why I've been secretive about it for the last six years.
*The meat of my name is Martin, my middle name. It comes from my grandpa's cousin, "Uncle Mart," who was close to my grandpa and stayed close with my dad and grandma after my grandpa died when my dad was 8. Patrick is the middle name of all three of my brothers, but I'm glad I was Patrick Martin rather than Martin Patrick.
*I was a huge fan of "The X-Files" and "Millennium." When I was 16, I made a website celebrating my obsession with both shows. I know, I was a big loser.
*I went to kindergarten and first grade with O.J. Smith, son of former Cardinal Ozzie Smith. And O.J. (now going by Osbourne) was on an early episode of "American Idol: Season 4." Thus, I am distantly connected to Kelly Clarkson. Not that I find that to be all that brag-worthy.
*I played trumpet from fifth to eighth grade. To this day, a lot of the people I like tend to be band geeks, either horn-players or drum corps folks. If you played something other than a horn or drums, then feel free to correct my gaffe, but most of you ARE hornies or drum corps folks.
*I was a huge WWF fan from ages 9 to 12. I collected a lot of the action figures and even had a letter published in WWF Magazine. My zeal for said "sport" was cut short when Crush was busted for steroids and my dad wanted me to find a new, "healthier" interest. I did find a new interest: Mad Magazine.
*My friend Ned and I formed a club called Get Rid Of Barney (G.R.O.B. for short). G.R.O.B. grew out of our love for Calvin and Hobbes' G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy girlS) as well as our disdain for Ned's sisters' obsession with Barney. We had G.R.O.B. baseball caps and even got a Barney figurine to defile in our planned "March Against Barney." He and I were the only two people who showed up for the march, though, so we just sang foul versions of the Barney theme song while walking to the neighborhood drug store for candy.
***Chances are, you know at least one of these things, as I drone on and on. Of course, you might have been one of the wiser ones, and tuned me out.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
I have recently signed up for the free trial of Netflix. It's a pretty straight-forward deal: you pay X amount a month and get unlimited rentals. You can have a certain number of movies out a month, but there's no "due date," so if you want to keep a movie for a week or two, you can do so. Once you send a film back (in a pre-paid envelope), they will send you the next movie on your list, or "queue." If I decide to stick with Netflix, I'd go with the deal that allows three movies at a time.
My first three movies?
1. Bill Engvall: Here's Your Sign (Live)
2. Super Size Me
3. Napoleon Dynamite
You'll notice that only one of those counts as a technical "movie." One is stand-up, one is a documentary. Thus showing the vast array of DVDs at your disposal with Netflix. They have a jank-load of stand-up DVDs (Izzard, Blue Collar, Queens of Comedy), all of which are in my "queue" of films. They have documentaries, a lot of indie flicks I never got to see at Ragtag, etc. The variety, when combined with the cheapness compared to Blockbuster, makes this a no-brainer for a movie fiend.
So, I'd like to solicit suggestions. Netflix is my dealer, and you can be the friend that gets me hooked on the cinematic smack. What, my friends, should some of my next rentals be?
Garden State is #4.
My desert island, all-time top 14 movies are:
American History X
Almost Famous
High Fidelity
Keeping The Faith
The Big Lebowski
Fight Club
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Field of Dreams
Donnie Darko
Lost In Translation
Saved!
When Harry Met Sally
Wrestling Ernest Hemingway
Ocean's 11
Movies I hated:
American Outlaws
Tomb Raider
The Mummy
Mimic
Honey
Movies I haven't seen and thus should be shot for:
Harold and Maude
Silence of the Lambs
Shawshank Redemption
Grosse Pointe Blank
Sixteen Candles
The Graduate
Chinatown
Scarface
The Two Towers
Return of the King
Trainspotting
Evil Dead 2
Movies I need to see again because it's been too long:
Say Anything
Gone In 60 Seconds
Rain Man
Dr. Strangelove
So, your task then... Well, you know your task.
Monday, February 14, 2005
KT: my mom wants to have our wedding invites made up
Pat: to our wedding?
KT: that way she is done with the both of us
KT: yup thats her plan
Pat: that would be the coolest open bar ever
KT: that way we will have each other and still cheat
KT: no offense, i dont want to have sex with you
Pat: That's OK, I don't think you'd want to, either
I know four people who are engaged right now: Bo and Madeline, Jill, and Megan. I put that "Harvard comma" in there so that you wouldn't think Jill and Megan are engaged. They both like movies, though.
Yes, people I have known for a long time are engaged. It's a sign that we are growing up, right? Or at least that THEY are growing up. I still feel like I'm Tom Hanks in "Big," pretending to be an adult. Hence why my friend from childhood and I were online talking about a pretend wedding.
KT: but that is in 12 years
Pat: Yeah, no commuter marriage
KT: no not going to work
Pat: Well, it gives me time to save up so we can ball it in style
KT: yeah!!! and get me a good ring
Pat: we can have schlitz at the wedding
Pat: and Cristal
Pat: and some bottles of hen
Pat: and a ring from Chuck E Cheese
KT: and lil jon can sing our first dance
Pat: OH HELL YEAH
Pat: you know that will take some bling
KT: sounds like a plan
Pat: I'll have to work the magic on him
What's ironic about this, though, is that KT's wedding would have the most expansive open bar, and Hennessy and Cristal and the works. And her first dance with her groom would probably be something like Lil Jon or Ice Cube.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
In South Carolina, you can't buy liquor in grocery stores. You have to buy it in liquor stores, but the liquor stores are not called "liquor stores." They are "package stores."
Why?
Here to answer that fine question is my roommate, Scott:
apparently because liquor not sold in minibottles is called packaged liquor - it's packaged for sale. All along I thought package stores were like Mail Boxes Etc.
So all this time I've been driving by ABC Packages thinking that's where I went to get things posted. No, that's where I go to get toasted.
Oh, and of course, these package stores are not open on Sundays.
Friday, February 11, 2005
I've returned from hiding. Not from hiding, so much as just inactivity. Fiscus once said something about not writing after midnight, and I've taken it to heart, because I've found that my brain is a big pile after work.
But I'm back, so now it's up to Dan, whose last post was Jan. 29. Ahem.
Jack shit.
*Eating digestives Ashley sent from her trip to London
*Watching and listening to a bunch of Eddie Izzard shows
*Listening to the most stand-up I've listened to since grade school
*Listening to LaunchCast more hours than I sleep
*Website heroin
*Working some good ol' overtime
*E-mailing industry big-wigs
*Judging contests
*Trying saki for the first time ("saki" = Japanese for "toilet bleach")
*Pretending to be Jeff Foxworthy (I know, it's snowing in hell)
*Watching "American Idol" and listening to Janelle get lusty for Constantine
*Deciding to actually give something up for Lent for the first time in five years
*Watching Scott play at an open mic night with a guy who looks like Kid Rock
As you can see, Jack shit is not bad. I am not complaining. It just isn't really blog-worthy, is it?
Aww, some of it is, I guess.
The Facebook consumed me last week. I thought it was a knock-off of Friendster (it is), but it kicks Friendster's ass. If for no other reason than that most of the people I searched for on both sites were actually on The Facebook. Including the girl who broke my heart in pre-school and then again in sixth grade. Not to be confused with the one I mentioned last time.
And! AND! The Facebook has groups you can join. They don't really mean shit, and you probably don't know 89 percent of the people in said group, but when it's 1 a.m., it's funny to see groups about zombies and possums and all that jazz.
I'm better now, though, I've gotten my fix and I'm not as obsessive anymore. This was probably just something to tide me over while "Desperate Housewives" took a three-week hiatus. Man, I need a hobby.
