Thursday, July 31, 2003
Queer eye for the straight leaders?
Perusing articles on the New York Times homepage and on CNN.com, I have found variations of the same quote from W.
"I believe marriage is between a man and a woman, and I believe we ought to codify that one way or the other, and we have lawyers looking at the best way to do that," Mr. Bush said at a news conference in the Rose Garden.
Since day one, I have tried to like George W. Bush. I grew up observing the GOP party (I've been in Jim Talent's backyard and John Ashcroft's been in mine), so I was familiar with his less-than-slick style of talking. He seemed cosmopolitan, personable and polite, but not slick -- and I liked that.
But now I am taking off the rose-colored glasses and seeing that while he might have some good intentions in some areas, he has his priorities out of whack.
In other words, the man has his head up his ass.
Liberia could benefit right now from having troops remove the dictators there so as to put an end to the genocide and give the people there better lives than they have now. Those people don't have running water and they scour the streets looking for cats and dogs. To eat.
Or if you don't want to think of that as a priority, there are several issues in the U.S. that warrant some attention. Those gays whom he doesn't want to allow marriage rights are gays who still find it hard to live in their communities. The Supreme Court decision on sodomy was a step, not a solution.
There are also lots of white, straight Christians that Dubya can help if he doesn't want to help the brown folk or the faggots. He can help the poor of Appalachia and focus on initiatives for them.
Of all the things that Bush's lawyers can work on, why are they putting the nose to the grindstone to keep Pedros and Seans from getting legal marriages? And then why take time out of the day to tell that to the press.
Since day one, I have tried to like George W. Bush, and I still try. I won't give up on him just yet. But, alas, the man has his head up his ass.
"At school they taught me how to be
So pure in thought and word and deed
They didn't quite succeed
For everything I long to do
No matter when or where or who
Has one thing in common, too
It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a sin
It's a sin
Everything I've ever done
Everything I ever do
Every place I've ever been
Everywhere I'm going to
It's a sin
Father, forgive me, I tried not to do it
Turned over a new leaf, then tore right through it
Whatever you taught me, I didn't believe it
Father, you fought me, 'cause I didn't care
And I still don't understand..."
-Pet Shop Boys, "It's a Sin"
Despite my frustrations with the president, I find Bush's statements easier to forgive than those of the pope, and that frightens me. I can write Bush off as a dumbass with an opinion different from mine, with a background different from mine, with a different faith and different set of values. Ultimately I guess I will have to do the same with the pope, but it's a little tougher.
We supposedly both believe in the cross as a symbol of love and hate, we both believe in the power of Christ's death, His Eucharist and the sense of honor shown by Mary and the saints. We both believe in the overwhelming responsibility to take care of everyone and make sure that inequality, famine and wrongdoing should be extinguished. This is not all of the beliefs in Catholicism, but the major ones.
And we both supposedly believe that God made each of us as a special creation unique from each other. I still believe that this similarity exists.
But I find his statements today really unsettling from the perspective of a Catholic male looking to live in a world without gender roles or discrimination.
"Legal recognition of homosexual unions or placing them on the same level as marriage would mean not only the approval of deviant behavior ... but would also obscure basic values which belong to the common inheritance of humanity."
"Allowing children to be adopted by persons living in such (homosexual) unions would actually mean doing violence to these children ... (placing) them in an environment that is not conducive to their full human development."
Bo has reasonably pointed out that I shouldn't be surprised, and well, I'm not. I've seen this specific document coming, because it's the attitude that's been prevalent since my childhood.
So I'm not surprised. Just saddened that this has become predictable. What I find so sad and disturbing is that it explicitly forbids the adoption of kids, as if that will harm the kids. Look at how many people came from straight families, and then see how "normal" they are. Eh?
The Catholic Church had made its mark by not giving up on people, by sending people to take care of those seemingly without hope. It was actually Christ, not specifically the Catholic Church. What then is more Christ-like than to give up of yourself and take in a child that someone else didn't want or couldn't take care of?
Oy.
Perusing articles on the New York Times homepage and on CNN.com, I have found variations of the same quote from W.
"I believe marriage is between a man and a woman, and I believe we ought to codify that one way or the other, and we have lawyers looking at the best way to do that," Mr. Bush said at a news conference in the Rose Garden.
Since day one, I have tried to like George W. Bush. I grew up observing the GOP party (I've been in Jim Talent's backyard and John Ashcroft's been in mine), so I was familiar with his less-than-slick style of talking. He seemed cosmopolitan, personable and polite, but not slick -- and I liked that.
But now I am taking off the rose-colored glasses and seeing that while he might have some good intentions in some areas, he has his priorities out of whack.
In other words, the man has his head up his ass.
Liberia could benefit right now from having troops remove the dictators there so as to put an end to the genocide and give the people there better lives than they have now. Those people don't have running water and they scour the streets looking for cats and dogs. To eat.
Or if you don't want to think of that as a priority, there are several issues in the U.S. that warrant some attention. Those gays whom he doesn't want to allow marriage rights are gays who still find it hard to live in their communities. The Supreme Court decision on sodomy was a step, not a solution.
There are also lots of white, straight Christians that Dubya can help if he doesn't want to help the brown folk or the faggots. He can help the poor of Appalachia and focus on initiatives for them.
Of all the things that Bush's lawyers can work on, why are they putting the nose to the grindstone to keep Pedros and Seans from getting legal marriages? And then why take time out of the day to tell that to the press.
Since day one, I have tried to like George W. Bush, and I still try. I won't give up on him just yet. But, alas, the man has his head up his ass.
So pure in thought and word and deed
They didn't quite succeed
For everything I long to do
No matter when or where or who
Has one thing in common, too
It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a sin
It's a sin
Everything I've ever done
Everything I ever do
Every place I've ever been
Everywhere I'm going to
It's a sin
Father, forgive me, I tried not to do it
Turned over a new leaf, then tore right through it
Whatever you taught me, I didn't believe it
Father, you fought me, 'cause I didn't care
And I still don't understand..."
-Pet Shop Boys, "It's a Sin"
Despite my frustrations with the president, I find Bush's statements easier to forgive than those of the pope, and that frightens me. I can write Bush off as a dumbass with an opinion different from mine, with a background different from mine, with a different faith and different set of values. Ultimately I guess I will have to do the same with the pope, but it's a little tougher.
We supposedly both believe in the cross as a symbol of love and hate, we both believe in the power of Christ's death, His Eucharist and the sense of honor shown by Mary and the saints. We both believe in the overwhelming responsibility to take care of everyone and make sure that inequality, famine and wrongdoing should be extinguished. This is not all of the beliefs in Catholicism, but the major ones.
And we both supposedly believe that God made each of us as a special creation unique from each other. I still believe that this similarity exists.
But I find his statements today really unsettling from the perspective of a Catholic male looking to live in a world without gender roles or discrimination.
"Legal recognition of homosexual unions or placing them on the same level as marriage would mean not only the approval of deviant behavior ... but would also obscure basic values which belong to the common inheritance of humanity."
"Allowing children to be adopted by persons living in such (homosexual) unions would actually mean doing violence to these children ... (placing) them in an environment that is not conducive to their full human development."
Bo has reasonably pointed out that I shouldn't be surprised, and well, I'm not. I've seen this specific document coming, because it's the attitude that's been prevalent since my childhood.
So I'm not surprised. Just saddened that this has become predictable. What I find so sad and disturbing is that it explicitly forbids the adoption of kids, as if that will harm the kids. Look at how many people came from straight families, and then see how "normal" they are. Eh?
The Catholic Church had made its mark by not giving up on people, by sending people to take care of those seemingly without hope. It was actually Christ, not specifically the Catholic Church. What then is more Christ-like than to give up of yourself and take in a child that someone else didn't want or couldn't take care of?
Oy.
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
#93 with a mullet
As I have told many of you or you may have merely observed, the White Boy Blog Party is approaching its 100th post. I've posted at least once a week, not once a day, since beginning this endeavor a days before Christmas 2002.
So, to celebrate this momentous occasion, I have decided to up the ante a bit for the posts leading up to the big 1-0-0. I am bringing back some popular topics and styles for posts.
That means, we will get:
*More fun receipts from Wally World
*More stories of hoosiers
*More stories of journalistic adventures gone awry
*More tales about sightings of certain graphic editors
*More pictures
*More rips on Jackie's mom
*More of Deez Nutz
and...
Polls were taken and requests received, so you will get.....
*More comparisons, ala the Anna Nicole comparisons with Erin and Jackie
So, let's use this 93rd post on the ol' blog to kick off our pre-celebration activities, shall we?
Phantoms, menaces, clones, space monsters, oh my!
Tonight we will unveil a new comparison. Enjoy, and know that all things are written in fun, because as we know, it is great fun to make fun of people.
Now I of course could have made more references to 3P0 and what have you, but I spared that. Hope you enjoyed.
As I have told many of you or you may have merely observed, the White Boy Blog Party is approaching its 100th post. I've posted at least once a week, not once a day, since beginning this endeavor a days before Christmas 2002.
So, to celebrate this momentous occasion, I have decided to up the ante a bit for the posts leading up to the big 1-0-0. I am bringing back some popular topics and styles for posts.
That means, we will get:
*More fun receipts from Wally World
*More stories of hoosiers
*More stories of journalistic adventures gone awry
*More tales about sightings of certain graphic editors
*More pictures
*More rips on Jackie's mom
*More of Deez Nutz
and...
Polls were taken and requests received, so you will get.....
*More comparisons, ala the Anna Nicole comparisons with Erin and Jackie
So, let's use this 93rd post on the ol' blog to kick off our pre-celebration activities, shall we?
Tonight we will unveil a new comparison. Enjoy, and know that all things are written in fun, because as we know, it is great fun to make fun of people.
 |  |
Now I of course could have made more references to 3P0 and what have you, but I spared that. Hope you enjoyed.
Monday, July 28, 2003
I should be working on an article for the Columbia Business Times, but after working multiple hours at the Walton establishment in the past few days, I am in dire need of some B.L.O.G. L.U.V. So, without further ado or fanfare, I am posting.
I have collected some of the better away messages from today. By "better," I don't mean worthy of a Peabody, but rather, better for mocking than any other. See below. And like always, please enjoy.
Hilary, of 306 and Oak Park fame: That's right...it's the second installment of "Begging North Shore Parents to Open The God Damn Blue Folder Before Asking Absurb, Ridiculous Questions Day." (I'm too young to be this bitter.)
No, it's okay. I have decided to sterilize half of Wal-Mart's customer base.
My friend Doug from high school: I'm away, leave a message, see if i reply..."I can read Trebek! That says anal bum-cover"
Let's just not forget to use those anal bum-covers.
Becky, my former PA and 310 TA: Spread the fun! Because if you're not fun, you're just lame! :-D
I plead the fifth, and need a fifth... of Vodka.
Keith, my roommie and uber cool family connection: dead
Me too!
Wasn't that fun? I thought so. Hopefully you enjoyed.
"Maybe I'm thinking myself in a hole
Wondering, who I am when I ought to know
Straighten up now time to go
Fool somebody else, fool somebody else..."
-Ben Folds Five, "Best Imitation of Myself"
I have worked the last 17 days straight with no day off. I have had days where I only work one job, yes, but each day I have had to work. I am responsible for all of this, it was my choice. It's just that now I am feeling the effects of it.
I've gotten tired and I feel cranky at times, too. It gets lonely when you pack your time in so tight that you only get to talk to your friends when they happen to stop by at work. And even then I can't really hear much about how they have been or what's going on in their lives. When I am at work, I can't really vent, either, I just have to smile and act like the me they hired (hence the Ben reference above).
I embarked on all this madness for a multitude of reasons. I think the easiest one I can use to explain it all to friends and strangers is my desire to go to London. Hearing so much from Erica and Sarah about London has inspired me, and I've been inspired by watching how they have grown and changed after their time there. Definitely I want to go to London, and that will be money. So that is a reason to go through with all this intense work.
But I think an equal factor if not bigger is that I wanted to prove it to myself. I wanted to show that I would have the discipline and humility to work several jobs to pay my way for something. I wanted to earn this trip. This would be a chance for me to shed any guilt or shame for having been "the boy from Ladue" and I could feel like I had actually made something of myself by setting a goal and then setting towards it balls to the wall.
I think another factor is that my father worked multiple jobs to pay his way through high school, college and law school, and my grandma worked multiple jobs so she could raise him after my grandfather died. The two of them embodied such drive and work ethic that I think I have subconsciously always felt as though I were riding on their coattails. And my brother-in-law paid his way through college all by himself, because his parents wanted him to stay on the farm. I have been so blessed to be around such driven people, and I think in my naive youth (and empty June) thought I would have to do that too to "prove myself."
Man, was I a fool... Feeling as though I have to prove myself by exhausting myself? How counter-intuitive was that? I have realized now that I was worthy as I was before, but that this situation of jobs and such has helped me realize what I have had and what I do have. I think the biggest blessings have been meeting people who have caught me off guard and just been themselves -- people at Wal-Mart most specifically. I have really enjoyed some of my customers who have been angels in disguise, encouraging me to plug through. And heck, if I get to shed some biases and swallow my pride in the process, that is great, too.
If it weren't for God and my faith and the church, I think I would be going insane. My trips to Mass in the past week have lifted me up higher than I can describe, and I have been able to dwell on a lot of the messages. I am not going to become perfect this summer, nor am I going to probably raise all the boku money I need for my planned trip to London. No, instead, I think the real profit from all this experience will be the new insight that I will have and I am already getting. My feelings of unity with a sector of people I hadn't really interacted with since I had gotten to school (what with all the slum rats of Richardson, Overland Park, Northshore and Farmington Hills)...
So, yeah... That's my rant. I am off to bed right now, but I would like to say:
*Welcome back, Liam
*I had a customer at Wal-Mart and her checks read "Candice Apple"-- Thus, if she went by "Candy," she'd be "Candy Apple." I hadn't written it earlier.
*Reuben was in Wal-Mart (and thus the dreams of countless millions) yesterday.
That's all. I'm off like a dirty shirt, a prom dress, or Jackie's mom at Dale Earnhardt race.
I have collected some of the better away messages from today. By "better," I don't mean worthy of a Peabody, but rather, better for mocking than any other. See below. And like always, please enjoy.
Hilary, of 306 and Oak Park fame: That's right...it's the second installment of "Begging North Shore Parents to Open The God Damn Blue Folder Before Asking Absurb, Ridiculous Questions Day." (I'm too young to be this bitter.)
No, it's okay. I have decided to sterilize half of Wal-Mart's customer base.
My friend Doug from high school: I'm away, leave a message, see if i reply..."I can read Trebek! That says anal bum-cover"
Let's just not forget to use those anal bum-covers.
Becky, my former PA and 310 TA: Spread the fun! Because if you're not fun, you're just lame! :-D
I plead the fifth, and need a fifth... of Vodka.
Keith, my roommie and uber cool family connection: dead
Me too!
Wasn't that fun? I thought so. Hopefully you enjoyed.
Wondering, who I am when I ought to know
Straighten up now time to go
Fool somebody else, fool somebody else..."
-Ben Folds Five, "Best Imitation of Myself"
I have worked the last 17 days straight with no day off. I have had days where I only work one job, yes, but each day I have had to work. I am responsible for all of this, it was my choice. It's just that now I am feeling the effects of it.
I've gotten tired and I feel cranky at times, too. It gets lonely when you pack your time in so tight that you only get to talk to your friends when they happen to stop by at work. And even then I can't really hear much about how they have been or what's going on in their lives. When I am at work, I can't really vent, either, I just have to smile and act like the me they hired (hence the Ben reference above).
I embarked on all this madness for a multitude of reasons. I think the easiest one I can use to explain it all to friends and strangers is my desire to go to London. Hearing so much from Erica and Sarah about London has inspired me, and I've been inspired by watching how they have grown and changed after their time there. Definitely I want to go to London, and that will be money. So that is a reason to go through with all this intense work.
But I think an equal factor if not bigger is that I wanted to prove it to myself. I wanted to show that I would have the discipline and humility to work several jobs to pay my way for something. I wanted to earn this trip. This would be a chance for me to shed any guilt or shame for having been "the boy from Ladue" and I could feel like I had actually made something of myself by setting a goal and then setting towards it balls to the wall.
I think another factor is that my father worked multiple jobs to pay his way through high school, college and law school, and my grandma worked multiple jobs so she could raise him after my grandfather died. The two of them embodied such drive and work ethic that I think I have subconsciously always felt as though I were riding on their coattails. And my brother-in-law paid his way through college all by himself, because his parents wanted him to stay on the farm. I have been so blessed to be around such driven people, and I think in my naive youth (and empty June) thought I would have to do that too to "prove myself."
Man, was I a fool... Feeling as though I have to prove myself by exhausting myself? How counter-intuitive was that? I have realized now that I was worthy as I was before, but that this situation of jobs and such has helped me realize what I have had and what I do have. I think the biggest blessings have been meeting people who have caught me off guard and just been themselves -- people at Wal-Mart most specifically. I have really enjoyed some of my customers who have been angels in disguise, encouraging me to plug through. And heck, if I get to shed some biases and swallow my pride in the process, that is great, too.
If it weren't for God and my faith and the church, I think I would be going insane. My trips to Mass in the past week have lifted me up higher than I can describe, and I have been able to dwell on a lot of the messages. I am not going to become perfect this summer, nor am I going to probably raise all the boku money I need for my planned trip to London. No, instead, I think the real profit from all this experience will be the new insight that I will have and I am already getting. My feelings of unity with a sector of people I hadn't really interacted with since I had gotten to school (what with all the slum rats of Richardson, Overland Park, Northshore and Farmington Hills)...
So, yeah... That's my rant. I am off to bed right now, but I would like to say:
*Welcome back, Liam
*I had a customer at Wal-Mart and her checks read "Candice Apple"-- Thus, if she went by "Candy," she'd be "Candy Apple." I hadn't written it earlier.
*Reuben was in Wal-Mart (and thus the dreams of countless millions) yesterday.
That's all. I'm off like a dirty shirt, a prom dress, or Jackie's mom at Dale Earnhardt race.
Sunday, July 27, 2003
"Pop culture reference. Sorry."
-Sarah Michelle Gellar, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
VH1's 200 Greatest Pop Culture Icons show is re-airing right now, and being that I had to work when most of was first on TV, I have gotten to see a good deal of it.
Too bad they had their priorities out of whack!
Madonna, Michael Jackson and the Beatles all should have been in the top three (in order of #3, 2, 1). The cast of "Friends" getting a better spot than the Fab Four? That is such a crock of shit. Tom Cruise is up there, but #5, above MJ, Madonna and the Beatles? Hmmm.... And Oprah Winfrey??? Girl, I love her, but NUMBER ONE?????
I was talking to Hilary tonight and she said, "I just think that Dr. Phil had NO PLACE ON THE LIST." Amen. You said it, sister.
And to think that they pooled all their efforts on this when they could have been making NEW episodes of "Behind the Music."
Man, VH1 can go and eat it for this one. They have officially "jumped the shark."
Attention Wal-Mart shoppers...
*Wear a bra. Having big boobs is a gift from God, but share them with your significant other and not with the cashier. He needs to be looking at your cart, not your nipples.
*You have a few options when the monitor for debit and credit cards says, "Do you want cash back -- yes or no?"
You can...
a) Press the appropriate buttons (that would be "yes" or "no")
b) Stare at the monitor incredulously
c) Say out loud to all of creation, "No, I don't want cash back!"
d) Shake your head violently
e) Speak in tongues
While I don't intrinsically oppose behaviors (b) through (e), I do advocate that you do (a) first. Otherwise, you're just a jackass (and a dumbass) who is wasting everyone's time.
*Sometimes the labels are wrong. Either the new price was not posted, or someone accidentally moved a tag to where it didn't belong. More often than not, we will honor whatever price you think it's supposed to be, because the computer will show it or the coupon book or just plain common sense. Thus, all the hot air, pretentious hand motions and other actions planned to convey just how peeved you are can be saved. Save your screaming for sports, beating your kids or something else that hoosiers love to do.
In honor of "what hoosiers love to do," we have the...
As promised, here are some of the best product purchases from this past week. I of course will add new ones in time, but hopefully these will tide you over for now.
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I of course will add new ones in time, but hopefully these will tide you over for now.
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
It's Crank's birthday!
Actually, it really is Crank's birthday. He's 21!
So, wish the Crankenstein a happy berfday and all that jazz.
Happy Birthday, Josh!
B-double-O-T-Y. Over and out.
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Erica: hey, who is it that goes by AOL? is that erin?
Pat: Yup
Erica: ahhh
Pat: whyfore?
Erica: i get AOL and dishwata confused
Erica: she posted on my blog
Pat: ahhh
Erica: and didn't leave a website or email
Pat: Erin is AOL because she's like AOL -- cheap, easy and fun
Erica: AHHAHAH
And of course Jackie is called "dishwata" because as Jake pointed out, her hair is dishwater-blonde. Rounding out this trio, then, is the lovely Kathryn H., who goes by the monniker "Bow Wow." This nickname is silly and takes some explaining, but it is a good one. Kathryn and Erin edited/TA'd on Thursday nights when a certain Blowa Schlongzo designed. Well, as many of you know/prove, many people thought Blowa Schlongzo was hot beyond belief, and loved to flirt with him. He ate this shit up and flirted with just about everyone -- except for Kathryn. He would talk to Erin, but he would give Kathryn the cold shoulder. Kathryn was dating Harry Potter, so she wasn't ultimately crushed, but just curious as to whether she smelled bad or had something in her teeth. Jackie's hypothesis as to why Joe ignored Kathryn but talked to Erin is that he must of thought Kathryn was as ugly as a "dog." "He thinks you're a dog -- ruff ruff! Bow wow!"
And hence, Kathryn was "Bow Wow." Cute nickname, yes, if you've been drinking at Darlene's and/or Black and Gold. Oh yeah...
Either way, Jackie is still a ho.
"You left
Your tired family grieving
And you think they're sad because you're leaving
But did you see Jealousy in the eyes
Of the ones who had to stay behind?
And do you think you've made
The right decision this time?"
-The Smiths, "London"
"People like you -- find it easy
Aching to see -- walking on air
Hunting by rivers, through the streets,
every corner abandoned too soon
Set down with due care
don't walk away -- in silence --
Don't walk away..."
-Joy Division, "Atmosphere"
It's been nearly a year since I began frequenting the Artisan, and I've become good acquaintances with many of the baristas there. Almost all coffee houses have a bit of pretentiousness that screams, "We're so indie, look at us, we're not mainstream!" The Artisan is just as guilty as the next place as far as that goes. My favorite baristas have been the ones that unapologetically admit that and then have enough humor to not take themselves too seriously.
One such barista was Dan, the raven-haired guy with shaggy hair. He usually wore white T-shirts and a black apron. He's not the heroin chic one (that's Derrick) and he's not the pirate-looking one (that's Nick). Dan is clean-shaven and just another dude who likes the Cure, the Clash, "High Fidelity" and "Donnie Darko." He also likes Radiohead and Saves the Day and other things that I don't, but hey, he's still cool enough. His sister is Beth, the short barista who looks like Velma of "Scooby Doo."
This past Saturday was Dan's last day at the Artisan. He leaves Columbia at the end of this month to return to his home of St. Louis, where he will go to Webster University to study audio production. Ironically enough, he will be living with my friend Casey Bodine in an apartment in South St. Louis. Odd, don't ya think?
Current reading:
"Collected Essays," James Baldwin
"A Londoner's London," Wilfred Whitten
I came home from the bookstore and crashed, tired from 10 days of working with no day off, and no day off in sight. It was four or so when I woke up, and in a haze, I watched some TV and heated up some macaroni from last week. By 6, I realized that I had to have a game plan for the evening, as I hadn't this afternoon and just slept it away. I wanted an evening more cerebral than just watching the premiere of "Top 200 Pop Culture Icons" on VH1, though I was tempted to stay in for that. I decided to go out to read, but wasn't too adventurous in my choice of venue -- the Artisan.
I had been in my room with my playlist on, trying to figure out what to read. I've been so busy with work or worn out from work that I haven't read in almost two weeks, if not longer. If I don't read over the summer and simply go to work and sleep, I feel subhuman and as though I haven't done a damn thing to better myself. I would hate to feel that this summer, because my motivation to work as hard and often as I am is based in bettering myself -- travel in Europe.
Listening to the Psychedelic Furs got me in a melancholy mood and it seems appropriate to finally pick up one of the books Josh gave me about London. If I'm dedicating my summer to get there, it seems only right that I should study up on it so I know what's ahead. I picked up "A Londoner's London" from the pile and found its language and references to 1886 London a bit much for me. I may be able to get into more when I am actually there.
Instead, I opted for something safer -- a book of essays by James Baldwin that I had bought for my brother but taken from him when I found out he'd already read all of them. I decided on "What it Means to be an American," a piece describing Baldwin's journey to Paris and how it opened up his eyes as to what the word "America" really encompassed. For Baldwin, a black bisexual veteran writing in the 1950s and '60s, those truths were both bitter and welcome. I guess a lot more of his subtleties will be clearer to me once I actually leave the country.
Thus, isolation was unintentionally the theme for the day: I had been listening to the pensive songs of the Psychedelic Furs as they sang of the country I wish to leave for, and I took myself away from my house to the Artisan where I could sit and read about Baldwin's cultural alienation. Of course, that didn't last too long, because Keith was at the Artisan, too, and we spent most of the time chatting like schoolgirls.
Ironic, no? Do you agree?
Pat: Yup
Erica: ahhh
Pat: whyfore?
Erica: i get AOL and dishwata confused
Erica: she posted on my blog
Pat: ahhh
Erica: and didn't leave a website or email
Pat: Erin is AOL because she's like AOL -- cheap, easy and fun
Erica: AHHAHAH
And of course Jackie is called "dishwata" because as Jake pointed out, her hair is dishwater-blonde. Rounding out this trio, then, is the lovely Kathryn H., who goes by the monniker "Bow Wow." This nickname is silly and takes some explaining, but it is a good one. Kathryn and Erin edited/TA'd on Thursday nights when a certain Blowa Schlongzo designed. Well, as many of you know/prove, many people thought Blowa Schlongzo was hot beyond belief, and loved to flirt with him. He ate this shit up and flirted with just about everyone -- except for Kathryn. He would talk to Erin, but he would give Kathryn the cold shoulder. Kathryn was dating Harry Potter, so she wasn't ultimately crushed, but just curious as to whether she smelled bad or had something in her teeth. Jackie's hypothesis as to why Joe ignored Kathryn but talked to Erin is that he must of thought Kathryn was as ugly as a "dog." "He thinks you're a dog -- ruff ruff! Bow wow!"
And hence, Kathryn was "Bow Wow." Cute nickname, yes, if you've been drinking at Darlene's and/or Black and Gold. Oh yeah...
Either way, Jackie is still a ho.
Your tired family grieving
And you think they're sad because you're leaving
But did you see Jealousy in the eyes
Of the ones who had to stay behind?
And do you think you've made
The right decision this time?"
-The Smiths, "London"
"People like you -- find it easy
Aching to see -- walking on air
Hunting by rivers, through the streets,
every corner abandoned too soon
Set down with due care
don't walk away -- in silence --
Don't walk away..."
-Joy Division, "Atmosphere"
It's been nearly a year since I began frequenting the Artisan, and I've become good acquaintances with many of the baristas there. Almost all coffee houses have a bit of pretentiousness that screams, "We're so indie, look at us, we're not mainstream!" The Artisan is just as guilty as the next place as far as that goes. My favorite baristas have been the ones that unapologetically admit that and then have enough humor to not take themselves too seriously.
One such barista was Dan, the raven-haired guy with shaggy hair. He usually wore white T-shirts and a black apron. He's not the heroin chic one (that's Derrick) and he's not the pirate-looking one (that's Nick). Dan is clean-shaven and just another dude who likes the Cure, the Clash, "High Fidelity" and "Donnie Darko." He also likes Radiohead and Saves the Day and other things that I don't, but hey, he's still cool enough. His sister is Beth, the short barista who looks like Velma of "Scooby Doo."
This past Saturday was Dan's last day at the Artisan. He leaves Columbia at the end of this month to return to his home of St. Louis, where he will go to Webster University to study audio production. Ironically enough, he will be living with my friend Casey Bodine in an apartment in South St. Louis. Odd, don't ya think?
Current reading:
"Collected Essays," James Baldwin
"A Londoner's London," Wilfred Whitten
I came home from the bookstore and crashed, tired from 10 days of working with no day off, and no day off in sight. It was four or so when I woke up, and in a haze, I watched some TV and heated up some macaroni from last week. By 6, I realized that I had to have a game plan for the evening, as I hadn't this afternoon and just slept it away. I wanted an evening more cerebral than just watching the premiere of "Top 200 Pop Culture Icons" on VH1, though I was tempted to stay in for that. I decided to go out to read, but wasn't too adventurous in my choice of venue -- the Artisan.
I had been in my room with my playlist on, trying to figure out what to read. I've been so busy with work or worn out from work that I haven't read in almost two weeks, if not longer. If I don't read over the summer and simply go to work and sleep, I feel subhuman and as though I haven't done a damn thing to better myself. I would hate to feel that this summer, because my motivation to work as hard and often as I am is based in bettering myself -- travel in Europe.
Listening to the Psychedelic Furs got me in a melancholy mood and it seems appropriate to finally pick up one of the books Josh gave me about London. If I'm dedicating my summer to get there, it seems only right that I should study up on it so I know what's ahead. I picked up "A Londoner's London" from the pile and found its language and references to 1886 London a bit much for me. I may be able to get into more when I am actually there.
Instead, I opted for something safer -- a book of essays by James Baldwin that I had bought for my brother but taken from him when I found out he'd already read all of them. I decided on "What it Means to be an American," a piece describing Baldwin's journey to Paris and how it opened up his eyes as to what the word "America" really encompassed. For Baldwin, a black bisexual veteran writing in the 1950s and '60s, those truths were both bitter and welcome. I guess a lot more of his subtleties will be clearer to me once I actually leave the country.
Thus, isolation was unintentionally the theme for the day: I had been listening to the pensive songs of the Psychedelic Furs as they sang of the country I wish to leave for, and I took myself away from my house to the Artisan where I could sit and read about Baldwin's cultural alienation. Of course, that didn't last too long, because Keith was at the Artisan, too, and we spent most of the time chatting like schoolgirls.
Ironic, no? Do you agree?
Friday, July 18, 2003
Below is what happens when my family uses e-mail. I trimmed my Mom's a bit, but I left my dad's e-mail just as it was. What you see is what he sent, and that's it.
From: Pat
To: Mom
Cc: Dad
Subject: Thanks for not being hoosiers.
I just want to thank each of you for not being hoosiers. I was working at Wal-Mart tonight when I overheard someone say, "I will knock the shit out of you, knock it off!" I look up and it's a hoosier in a tank top with a mullet, talking to her kid, who was excessively talking. What a bitch.
Thanks, Mom and Dad, for not being hoosiers.
-------
From: Mom
To: Pat
Subject: Re: Thanks for not being hoosiers.
So you are learning the er.. cultural differences that
exist in our world. Poor kids who get yelled at are
victims of a lot.
How are your various jobs treating you? Am anxious to
hear about the book store job--how has the maiden
voyage been?
...Hope to talk to you soon. Lots of love coming your
way--YoMomma
-------
From: Dad
To: Pat
Subject: RE: Thanks for not being hoosiers.
No problem.
-------
Giving credit where credit is due:
*My dear friend Katie I., who just this past Monday learned that she is one of seven winners of a writing contest sponsored by Jim Murry Foundation. Katie, a student at Loyola University of New Orleans, wrote a piece about war coverage. She will be flown to L.A. in October to receive her award, which includes $5,000.
*A belated shout-out to the ladies of the Paris Road Chateau, who nearly two weeks ago hosted a cool BYOM (Bring Your Own Meat) BBQ. It was wholesome fun for the whole family, and I got to meet some fun new people out of it. While I want to thank the whole crew (thanks, peeps), this shout-out is particularly directed at Erica and May-gun.
*Sub-shout-out to Sarah Protz, who was in attendance at said event. She's in Clear Lake, Iowa, for the summer, but came down for some long distance errands and got to hang. It was quite fun to catch up and hear her talk about L-O-N-D-O-N. I now have some ideas for my trek to the land of tyranny, crumpets and Johnny Rotten.
*And having mentioned the May-gun, this is a shout-out of her very own. She left yesterday for Kamp. It's a camp for inner-city kids, and while it is spelled with a K, it is not in the same vein as the KKK spells Klan with a K. No lynchings going on here. Instead, it's actually a positive experience and I expect good stories.
*The wonderful Erin White, who sent me a cute card that I opened last night around midnight. It was on pretty stationary, and we discussed this at lengths, appropriately enough on instant messenger. Thanks, AOL!
From: Pat
To: Mom
Cc: Dad
Subject: Thanks for not being hoosiers.
I just want to thank each of you for not being hoosiers. I was working at Wal-Mart tonight when I overheard someone say, "I will knock the shit out of you, knock it off!" I look up and it's a hoosier in a tank top with a mullet, talking to her kid, who was excessively talking. What a bitch.
Thanks, Mom and Dad, for not being hoosiers.
-------
From: Mom
To: Pat
Subject: Re: Thanks for not being hoosiers.
So you are learning the er.. cultural differences that
exist in our world. Poor kids who get yelled at are
victims of a lot.
How are your various jobs treating you? Am anxious to
hear about the book store job--how has the maiden
voyage been?
...Hope to talk to you soon. Lots of love coming your
way--YoMomma
-------
From: Dad
To: Pat
Subject: RE: Thanks for not being hoosiers.
No problem.
-------
Giving credit where credit is due:
*My dear friend Katie I., who just this past Monday learned that she is one of seven winners of a writing contest sponsored by Jim Murry Foundation. Katie, a student at Loyola University of New Orleans, wrote a piece about war coverage. She will be flown to L.A. in October to receive her award, which includes $5,000.
*A belated shout-out to the ladies of the Paris Road Chateau, who nearly two weeks ago hosted a cool BYOM (Bring Your Own Meat) BBQ. It was wholesome fun for the whole family, and I got to meet some fun new people out of it. While I want to thank the whole crew (thanks, peeps), this shout-out is particularly directed at Erica and May-gun.
*Sub-shout-out to Sarah Protz, who was in attendance at said event. She's in Clear Lake, Iowa, for the summer, but came down for some long distance errands and got to hang. It was quite fun to catch up and hear her talk about L-O-N-D-O-N. I now have some ideas for my trek to the land of tyranny, crumpets and Johnny Rotten.
*And having mentioned the May-gun, this is a shout-out of her very own. She left yesterday for Kamp. It's a camp for inner-city kids, and while it is spelled with a K, it is not in the same vein as the KKK spells Klan with a K. No lynchings going on here. Instead, it's actually a positive experience and I expect good stories.
*The wonderful Erin White, who sent me a cute card that I opened last night around midnight. It was on pretty stationary, and we discussed this at lengths, appropriately enough on instant messenger. Thanks, AOL!
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
Yes, I got your messages, I saw that you called
I have just worked two 13-hour days, and before that I had worked nine-,10- and 11-hour shifts. I am sorry for not calling you back yet. I am doing that on Thursday. So, I love you and miss you and I saved your cute messages. You will get a call from me soon.
Uh... You people are weird!: Desperately seeking Lord knows what, part 3
A few months ago, I began keeping track of who goes to my blog and why. At first, it was just people coming to find stuff about Dave Chappelle or a certain band that it so happens I quoted. Fair enough. Later searches, though, revealed a heart of darkness -- a dark underbelly to the Internet. I know, and it seems weird, but there are a few people here and there who use the Internet to look up dirty things. I know! Guh-ross.
Well, after a while, it became so surreal/weird/familiar that I decided to keep tabs and share the findings with you. Afterall, these search engines are how half of you have found me in the first place.
*graduation party wild naked girlfriend picture
*Teva Michigan jew
*www.mamasfamily.org
*van zant e street bandana
*"cor jesu" journal
*russia kevin boy pics
*"fight club"+quotes+khaki
*"lukes of hazzard"
*+"Trixie delight" +"st. Louis"
*"showgirls pool scene"
*pink get the party started ravage lyrics
*interviewing beyonce about having a boyfriend
*pictures when girls change their vagina peds
*Dawson's Creek Gretchen pics
*"kyle pusch"
*"hazard to ya booty"
*milwaukee party pics
*stetson hat+stone gossard
*boxers n briefs st. louis
*lyrics, "Mama's+Family" theme song
*college kids shitting
*girls in St. Louis south county that will suck dick
*Copie Free Parking Ticket
*jobs in St. Charles county
*older women nude fundraising pics
*Uncle Luke's freak show
*step by step directions to make a lego humvee
*seth diaryland
*heidi strobel playboy pics
*jenna elfman and obnoxious
*pics Beyonce at the Essence Awards 2003
*immacolata funeral, st. louis
*"best text messages"
*"a blast" "glass dick"
*skankaroni
*rules "c -lo" dice
*beyonce"in the summertime"lyrics
*Crank Yankers audios
*chicago blog party
*Schneller Kingston meat
*white boy dreads
*christian bale american psycho pictures nude
*white boy blog party
*finding nemo squishy icon
*"bling bling" bumfights+pictures
*swinger rough sex blogs
*pitchers of animals dressed for a birthday party
*anna nicole smith belches
*zipatoni
*Keona Gardner
*song lyrics ot the song do you believe in me by south boarders
*"Derrick Jenkins"+advertising
*wild reception party pics
*shitting in panties pics
*first time stories masturbation
The "Heidi Strobel" one referred to my site because I posted about Lee Strobel's "The Case for Christ." Just thought you should know. I had no clue who Heidi Strobel is. I do, however, know who Christian Bale is, but, no nude photos. At least I don't have nude photos of this Christian.
I have just worked two 13-hour days, and before that I had worked nine-,10- and 11-hour shifts. I am sorry for not calling you back yet. I am doing that on Thursday. So, I love you and miss you and I saved your cute messages. You will get a call from me soon.
Uh... You people are weird!: Desperately seeking Lord knows what, part 3
A few months ago, I began keeping track of who goes to my blog and why. At first, it was just people coming to find stuff about Dave Chappelle or a certain band that it so happens I quoted. Fair enough. Later searches, though, revealed a heart of darkness -- a dark underbelly to the Internet. I know, and it seems weird, but there are a few people here and there who use the Internet to look up dirty things. I know! Guh-ross.
Well, after a while, it became so surreal/weird/familiar that I decided to keep tabs and share the findings with you. Afterall, these search engines are how half of you have found me in the first place.
*graduation party wild naked girlfriend picture
*Teva Michigan jew
*www.mamasfamily.org
*van zant e street bandana
*"cor jesu" journal
*russia kevin boy pics
*"fight club"+quotes+khaki
*"lukes of hazzard"
*+"Trixie delight" +"st. Louis"
*"showgirls pool scene"
*pink get the party started ravage lyrics
*interviewing beyonce about having a boyfriend
*pictures when girls change their vagina peds
*Dawson's Creek Gretchen pics
*"kyle pusch"
*"hazard to ya booty"
*milwaukee party pics
*stetson hat+stone gossard
*boxers n briefs st. louis
*lyrics, "Mama's+Family" theme song
*college kids shitting
*girls in St. Louis south county that will suck dick
*Copie Free Parking Ticket
*jobs in St. Charles county
*older women nude fundraising pics
*Uncle Luke's freak show
*step by step directions to make a lego humvee
*seth diaryland
*heidi strobel playboy pics
*jenna elfman and obnoxious
*pics Beyonce at the Essence Awards 2003
*immacolata funeral, st. louis
*"best text messages"
*"a blast" "glass dick"
*skankaroni
*rules "c -lo" dice
*beyonce"in the summertime"lyrics
*Crank Yankers audios
*chicago blog party
*Schneller Kingston meat
*white boy dreads
*christian bale american psycho pictures nude
*white boy blog party
*finding nemo squishy icon
*"bling bling" bumfights+pictures
*swinger rough sex blogs
*pitchers of animals dressed for a birthday party
*anna nicole smith belches
*zipatoni
*Keona Gardner
*song lyrics ot the song do you believe in me by south boarders
*"Derrick Jenkins"+advertising
*wild reception party pics
*shitting in panties pics
*first time stories masturbation
The "Heidi Strobel" one referred to my site because I posted about Lee Strobel's "The Case for Christ." Just thought you should know. I had no clue who Heidi Strobel is. I do, however, know who Christian Bale is, but, no nude photos. At least I don't have nude photos of this Christian.
Sunday, July 13, 2003
God Bless this article from the Onion.
This article describes about 80 percent of all the customers I see each day at the Walton establishment, except they don't buy too many books. They do love tabloids, though, and "Finding Nemo" ice bars.
The best parts of said article:
The various stresses appear to be taking their toll, as evidenced by Dolger's selection of a Pure Moods CD.
"Pure Moods is one of those 'As Seen On TV' CDs that's a compilation of all this really soothing easy-listening stuff," Berman said. "It's got [Enigma's] 'Return To Innocence' and that 'Sail away, sail away...' song by Enya. Basically, music for women about to lose their shit."
"Looking into this blue plastic cart is like peering into her soul," Berman said. "I see fear for her future and shame over her current economic status in this roll of Sam's Club bargain-brand toilet paper. In these scented candles, I see a desire to escape life."
And I completely understand why. These women are rarely happy at the check-out line. Don't take it out on me that your husband is a goober or that your kids have rat-tail mullets. I'll be there to offer you support and scan your tampons, dog food, yogurt and Cherokee brand swim suit, but I am not your whipping boy, ma'am. You best be steppin' off, because at the Walton establishment, "Our people make the difference." In other words, shape up or be a hoosier elsewhere. And that just won't work -- no one else serves as a one-stop destination for frozen pizza, romance novels and "Just Married" on DVD.
Thursday, July 10, 2003
Hola, ladies and germs.
We have yet another new guest in our White Boy Blog Party, this one being near and dear to my heart: my roommie! Yes, the matzo ball has a blog now, and you should all go. It's still new, as it only has a few posts on it, but those posts are stained with character, just like Keith. He is one of my favorite people and I will be sad to not be roommates with him starting next month. What a crazy year it has been. Oh well, we still have rhthym, music and weird pictures.
Please welcome Keith to the blog family, with open arms. Weirdos.
My day has come
Crank sent me an article about the return of a certain 80s trend: the Garbage Pail Kids. This, as I am sure you can guess, has me excited.
For those of you who lived in a cave in the '80s or had fascist parents, the Garbage Pail Kids were cards that had little kids on there with gross names. The drawings were horriffic and graphic-- they were so badass.
In case any of you didn't know about the GPK, I have below made a table of some of my favorite GPK cards. For more info, go here.
Aren't they great? Brian (my brother) and I used to save up our allowances to get them. One time, we went up to Spicer's and he bought a whole box of them. He was big pimpin' in our neighborhood after that, especially because we had some copies of "Iris Virus." My friend Ned used to put the stickers on his kitchen wall, and after some time, there was quite a layer of them. When his family sold that house, they had quite the task of removing the grime from the stickers.
What a magical time.
Say it isn't so!
Looks like that when Britney and I get hitched, it won't be such a white wedding after all.
I am shocked. How could someone who dresses like her have had premarital sex? The idea never even crossed my mind. I don't know how CNN or W Magazine would ever get that idea. What a great scoop.
Seriously, though, my mom hit the nail on the head: "Who cares enough about this to read it?" Sadly, Mom, there are a lot of dumbasses out there.
I sent the link to Bo, and he seized upon this following quote from Ms. Spears:
"The most painful thing I've ever experienced was that breakup," Spears says. "We were together so long and I had this vision. You think you're going to spend the rest of your life together. Where I come from, the woman is the homemaker, and that's how I was brought up -- you cook for your kids. But now I realize I need my single time."
Bo's response? "Cry me a fucking river."
I just think it's bullshit that she feels as if her life should revolve around those Southern gendertyped roles. Obviously, those worked out real well for her parents.
We have yet another new guest in our White Boy Blog Party, this one being near and dear to my heart: my roommie! Yes, the matzo ball has a blog now, and you should all go. It's still new, as it only has a few posts on it, but those posts are stained with character, just like Keith. He is one of my favorite people and I will be sad to not be roommates with him starting next month. What a crazy year it has been. Oh well, we still have rhthym, music and weird pictures.
Please welcome Keith to the blog family, with open arms. Weirdos.
Crank sent me an article about the return of a certain 80s trend: the Garbage Pail Kids. This, as I am sure you can guess, has me excited.
For those of you who lived in a cave in the '80s or had fascist parents, the Garbage Pail Kids were cards that had little kids on there with gross names. The drawings were horriffic and graphic-- they were so badass.
In case any of you didn't know about the GPK, I have below made a table of some of my favorite GPK cards. For more info, go here.
 |  |  |
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 |  |  |
Aren't they great? Brian (my brother) and I used to save up our allowances to get them. One time, we went up to Spicer's and he bought a whole box of them. He was big pimpin' in our neighborhood after that, especially because we had some copies of "Iris Virus." My friend Ned used to put the stickers on his kitchen wall, and after some time, there was quite a layer of them. When his family sold that house, they had quite the task of removing the grime from the stickers.
What a magical time.
Looks like that when Britney and I get hitched, it won't be such a white wedding after all.
I am shocked. How could someone who dresses like her have had premarital sex? The idea never even crossed my mind. I don't know how CNN or W Magazine would ever get that idea. What a great scoop.
Seriously, though, my mom hit the nail on the head: "Who cares enough about this to read it?" Sadly, Mom, there are a lot of dumbasses out there.
I sent the link to Bo, and he seized upon this following quote from Ms. Spears:
"The most painful thing I've ever experienced was that breakup," Spears says. "We were together so long and I had this vision. You think you're going to spend the rest of your life together. Where I come from, the woman is the homemaker, and that's how I was brought up -- you cook for your kids. But now I realize I need my single time."
Bo's response? "Cry me a fucking river."
I just think it's bullshit that she feels as if her life should revolve around those Southern gendertyped roles. Obviously, those worked out real well for her parents.
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
"When I get you all alone
I'm gonna take off all your clothes
Ain't nobody gonna interrupt my game, oh no
Ever since you've been hangin' around
I've been trying to figure out
What I'm gonna say to you to get something, yeah..."
-Soul Decision, "Faded"
In honor of today being a certain someone's berfday, I thought I would make special use of the blog. Jackie has been one of the premiere posters since this blog started, and well, she's a dirty ho-bag. Not only is she dirty in her posts, she's dirty in her e-mails. So, in honor of her birthday, I thought I'd share with you some of her funnier blog posts and e-mails. Afterall, we do know what Jeff got her. Enjoy!
"Don't expect to get a drunk dial from me for atleast a week ... I have oral surgery on Thursday (I said on Thursday ... not on Pat's mom. Geez) & plan to spend the next several days popping prescription narcoti (jackie's new AP style for plural narcotics ... think it will float? do I need to shout out for some second guesses?) and eating apple sauce."
"dear lord, please please please - forget what a bad girl I have been and hear my prayer. Please be with my friend Pat and let him land this job like a 10 lb bass! I will try to be good.
Amen"
-An e-mail around the time I was praying for a certain internship
"yo mama is sooooooooo fat, I had to roll the bitch in flour to find the wet spot"
"hey pat - I'm in the computer lab at Brady - trying desperatley to finish a paper that is due in a couple of hours UGH UGH ... Art (not a man with no arms and legs hanging on my wall - Patnaude) is sitting beside me. We have been here since 11 am. That's a pretty long time in dog years. He tried to dish on my mama a while back but UNFORTUNATELY for him - I am sharp as a tack when it comes to bagging on some one's mama. I'm also pretty good at baggin them."
"she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
PS .... regarding that ruler .... THAT'S NOT THE ONLY THING SHE TOOK TO BED"
And on Erin's blog:
"holy shit ... this post is so old, Jesus is in its yearbook.
POST YOU LAZY HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
xoxoxoxo
I didn''t mean it.
I love you!"
Happy Birthday, Dishwata!
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
-Jip, "Human Traffic"
Since I last posted, a bunch has happened: Fourth of July happenings, my first official Trops, working at the Walton establishment, the U.S. toying with the idea of sending troops to Africa to help the librarians and the death of the man that made me want to be black. There's no real order or schemata to any of this, so we call cut the crap. Let's roll, homies.
-Colonel Curtiss, "Dreamcatcher"
I am officially an "associate" of the Walton establishment. I am a checker/cashier. I wear a blue vest and a plastic name-tag with my name crookedly spelled out with blue stickers. Beneath that is a tag with the head of Sam Walton, some phrase of his, and a copy of his signature. It's quite odd to me, really. It's like the Mooby muffins craze in "Dogma."
My orientation and following days/shifts were interesting for a few reasons:
*One kid didn't know how to write dates on his paperwork.
*There was a woman who will be working part-time while taking care of her kids. She's legally separated, though the divorce will be final in less than 30 days. Nevertheless, this man is entitled to her benefits because by the letter of the law, he is her husband. This means that he will get some benefits packages and he'll also receive a discount card. The woman was shocked, and I don't blame her. I don't know this guy but it sounds like a bad situation. It seems as though the only things he has ever done has knocked her up, married her to keep the kids from being bastards, and promised to "be better" long enough such that the job application went in before the divorce paperwork. Clever guy. Now, if he ever gets a hankering to watch the lesbian scenes in "Wild Things," he can go in and buy it for 10 percent off, because his soon-to-be ex-wife works at an establishment that is wholly dedication to the institution of marriage.
*Lots of hoosier couples come in together and buy "intimate products" in unique combinations. I have checked out customers buying condoms and dog food, or lingerie and baskets. And what's unfortunate about all this is that I have a really vivid imagination. It's like picturing the cousins from the "Vacation" movies. No joke. "Deliverance" all over again. In my head. With Cherokee brand brazieres, priced 40 cents off. Ewwww.
*Today (Monday) an old lady bought bras and some corn meal. It was a eww-inspiring experience. I'm all for bras and that type of support, but I was always under the impression that after a certain point in one's life, gravity and aging rendered that type of support unnecessary.
*Today (Monday) was also a popular day for buying laxatives, suppositories and enemas. They sell suppositories made of glyceride, and that got me thinking of that Bush song, "Glycerine." This was funny, because most of Bush's recent stuff could function as a laxative.
I get through, though. It's not bad, and some of the customers are real nice. I've talked to a lot of them about my plans for U.K. and the west coast. I even talked to a woman who had lived in California for 10 years. I told her all about Courtney and the horses and all that jazz. It keeps me focused to remember just why I'm working all these hours. Prince William, Golden Gate Bridge, Dan Savage. Prince William, Golden Gate Bridge, Dan Savage... Must... make... it... all... the... way... through...
Sunday was exceptionally great because Gia and Beth, two of my favorite baristas from the Artisan, showed up and visited me. They bought make-up ("We're having a make-up party!") and a bottle of Jagermeister. Oh, how I love them -- they knew to reciprocate my visits by visiting me as I scanned cat food and swimsuits. Too cute. (It is Beth and Gia who are too cute, and not the people buying cat food and swimsuits. I think the reason the customers have to buy larger swimsuits is that they eat the cat food instead of giving it to their cats.)
|  |
Saturday after getting off work and watching "The Lost Boys" on VH1, I went off with Nat for an adventure. We picked up Ph.D. student Todd and headed for Trops. This was my "first time" at Trops, and Nat said that it was only appropriately ironic that I got a "Cherry Bomb" for my first time. It was quite stellar, I must say. It reminded me of my high school runs to get slurpees, except there were no stale hot dogs or skate punks, and these slurpees had booze. Vodka, to be specific. Allelujah.
We then went off to Ben's house to chill, which was cool, but the best part of the night was Nat's cell phone. It rang multiple times. The best calls:
*Frat Kyle calling drunk from the Landing in STL. He was riding the MetroLink when he saw Clay Aiken of "American Idol" fame. This was right around the same time when he called to say he had found a red towel on the ground and decided to keep it. When Nat inquired as to where he found it, he said it was on the street and that he was now wearing it.
*Alabama Jason, also drunk, calling Nat to say hi and see what she was up to for the evening. He and one of his friends were watching porn and he began to narrate it to Nat over the phone. Nat is the girl I pair up with for Mass on Sundays, so this was funny in and of itself. Well, he was graphically narrating it, referring to the scenes of climax as, "This is the money shot, dawg! Aw yeah, the money shot!!!"
Kids say the darnedest things. This following quote was from the Sunday night away message of Hilary, who's working at a camp for smart kids at Northwestern this summer. She is in charge of the elementary school kids. Read and enjoy.
"Tonight I received dating advice from 10 year olds. Apparently, boys like it if you laugh at their jokes. Secondly, a boy doesn't necessarily need to know he is your boyfriend, as long as you know he is."
Friday, July 04, 2003
In honor of the holiday, I have compiled a list of great things that are distinctly American. Read on and enjoy.
"American Beauty"
"American History X"
James Baldwin
Drew Barrymore
Jack Buck
baseball
Calvin and Hobbes
Harry Carey
George Carlin
checks and balances
John Cusack
Chuck D
Robert De Niro
"Field of Dreams"
Ferris Bueller
"Death of A Salesman"
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Corey Feldman
Ben Folds
First Amendment
Aretha Franklin
Fred Phelps being able to hold his signs in public, even if he is full of hate
"Ghostbusters"
grunge music
Tom Hanks
Jim Henson
Hotdogs
hoosiers who swear they saw aliens
John Hughes
Zora Neale Hurston
Bob Jamerson
Kermit the Frog
Mark McGwire
John Mellencamp
Arthur Miller
Motown
mullets
Eddie Murphy
Stan Musial
New York Times
Eugene O'Neill
the Police Academy movies
porksteaks
the pursuit of happiness clause
Molly Ringwald
Mike Royko
Run DMC
Adam Sandler
Charles Schultz
Martin Scorsese
Bruce Springsteen
"Star Wars"
Superman
Supreme Court
toasted ravioli
Weird Al
Walt Whitman
Williamsburg, Va.
ZZ Top
There's a lot that isn't perfect about this country, but that wasn't really my point in the first place. I just wanted to get lost in a list of all that I love about this country... All the things that shoot a sense of patriotism into my being whenever I think of them, no matter how silly or goofy they seem.
So, here's to our 227 years of imperfection, 227 years of being able to trudge through bullshit. I post a lot about the stuff in this country that is ass backwards, but when I think about it, I can only think of the places I could have been born. The Irish immigrants used to joke that Ireland was a piece of heaven that fell to earth, and while I don't know if I'll go that far with the U.S., I will agree it's definitely not hell, and even beyond purgatory. Oh, what the hell -- I love this country, and I'm too tired to make any more sense or write anymore. Goodnight and God bless.
"I sink `neath the water cool and clear
Drifting down, I disappear
I see you on the other side
I search for the peace in your eyes
But they're as empty as paradise
They're as empty as paradise
I break above the waves
I feel the sun upon my face"
-Bruce Springsteen, "Paradise"
"You gave your love to see, in fields of red and autumn brown
You gave your love to me and lay your young body down
Up the stairs, into the fire
Up the stairs, into the fire
I need you near, but love and duty called you someplace higher
Somewhere up the stairs, into the fire"
-Bruce Springsteen, "Into the Fire"
"Well there’s people and more people
What do they know know know
Go to work in some high rise
And vacation down at the Gulf of Mexico
Ohhh yeah
And there’s winners, and there’s losers
But they ain’t no big deal
’cuz the simple man baby pays for the thrills,
The bills and the pills that kill
Oh but ain’t that america for you and me
Ain’t that america we’re someting to see baby
Ain’t that america, home of the free
Little pink houses for you and me"
-John Mellencamp, "Pink Houses"
"American Beauty""American History X"
James Baldwin
Drew Barrymore
Jack Buck
baseball
Calvin and Hobbes
Harry Carey
George Carlin
checks and balances
John Cusack
Chuck D
Robert De Niro
"Field of Dreams"
Ferris Bueller
"Death of A Salesman"
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Corey Feldman
Ben Folds
First Amendment
Aretha Franklin
Fred Phelps being able to hold his signs in public, even if he is full of hate
"Ghostbusters"
grunge music
Tom Hanks
Jim Henson
Hotdogs
hoosiers who swear they saw aliens
John Hughes
Zora Neale Hurston
Bob Jamerson
Kermit the Frog
Mark McGwire
John Mellencamp
Arthur Miller
Motown
mullets
Eddie Murphy
Stan Musial
New York Times
Eugene O'Neill
the Police Academy movies
porksteaks
the pursuit of happiness clause
Molly Ringwald
Mike Royko
Run DMC
Adam Sandler
Charles Schultz
Martin Scorsese
Bruce Springsteen
"Star Wars"
Superman
Supreme Court
toasted ravioli
Weird Al
Walt Whitman
Williamsburg, Va.
ZZ Top
There's a lot that isn't perfect about this country, but that wasn't really my point in the first place. I just wanted to get lost in a list of all that I love about this country... All the things that shoot a sense of patriotism into my being whenever I think of them, no matter how silly or goofy they seem.
So, here's to our 227 years of imperfection, 227 years of being able to trudge through bullshit. I post a lot about the stuff in this country that is ass backwards, but when I think about it, I can only think of the places I could have been born. The Irish immigrants used to joke that Ireland was a piece of heaven that fell to earth, and while I don't know if I'll go that far with the U.S., I will agree it's definitely not hell, and even beyond purgatory. Oh, what the hell -- I love this country, and I'm too tired to make any more sense or write anymore. Goodnight and God bless.
"I sink `neath the water cool and clear
Drifting down, I disappear
I see you on the other side
I search for the peace in your eyes
But they're as empty as paradise
They're as empty as paradise
I break above the waves
I feel the sun upon my face"
-Bruce Springsteen, "Paradise"
"You gave your love to see, in fields of red and autumn brown
You gave your love to me and lay your young body down
Up the stairs, into the fire
Up the stairs, into the fire
I need you near, but love and duty called you someplace higher
Somewhere up the stairs, into the fire"
-Bruce Springsteen, "Into the Fire"
"Well there’s people and more people
What do they know know know
Go to work in some high rise
And vacation down at the Gulf of Mexico
Ohhh yeah
And there’s winners, and there’s losers
But they ain’t no big deal
’cuz the simple man baby pays for the thrills,
The bills and the pills that kill
Oh but ain’t that america for you and me
Ain’t that america we’re someting to see baby
Ain’t that america, home of the free
Little pink houses for you and me"
-John Mellencamp, "Pink Houses"
Wednesday, July 02, 2003
I was on campus today working on the rough draft of my freelance article (more on that to come) when I had to print off a copy. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to, because I had maxxed out my $35 quota at $0.07 per page by May. I was sure that if I had any amount left on my account, it would barely cover the four pages I would need to print off the draft. I hesitantly tried to print, and to my delight, I found that for the summer, they had added $7.00 to my account and the four pages cost me $0.20, not the $0.28 I was expecting. Ipso ergo facto, pages are now $0.05! Woohoo! It helps me get into the mentality of being smart with my money, considering that I am looking to save up boku bucks for London and beyond.
In my attempts to refine my writing skills, stay in touch with journalism and make some extra cash, I have decided to freelance. It turns out to be one of the best things I've done. I guess I have to chuck up Saturday's dramatic post to just a bad day. While I have had some smoke blown up my ass with this story, all the people I have talked to have been friendly, even the smoke-blowers. I guess they were having a bad day on Saturday, too. It was either a full moon or "Making the Video" marathon on MTV. Either way, your mood is going to be affected.
So, I have the writing bug yet again. Not sure what exactly it is about the whole process... If it's the breaking the ice with the source, warming up to them, being able to talk to them for two hours when you only had thought you'd get 20 minutes, learning to talk their language, piecing together their story, writing in a style you'd never get away with in J105 or if it's discovering a new hobby for yourself after writing about it. I'm loving that I have been able to explore wine shops the past week and then get to write about it... and then get paid! It's so different from the Missourian. Not only did I not have to grab my ankles, but I didn't have to pay for it! And I have never met my editor face to face! Maybe I should look into freelance dating, too?
Oh wait, no, that's called prostitution.
And I've already done that. It was called 306. Scratch that idea.
Tomorrow I start orientation for my job at the Walton establishment. Wish me luck. I think I'll be a cashier in the electronics department, but who knows. That's what we talked about in my second interview. My first one was for the position of overnight stocker (and not stalker, Jackie), but that interview ended with the guy telling me he thought I was too outgoing and intelligent for that. Thanks.... I guess... All I want is a job, but hey, I'll take an ego-rub, too.
Two years ago I made my "Get the hell out of Missouri plan" and now I have put the pen to paper for my goals over the next year.
I'm looking to study abroad in London come January, and I would love to visit Courtney before that. That might be too much dough, though, so I may have to go see her in Antioch over Christmas, rather than in Hollywood before then. I am, however, keeping my eyes on some cities on the west coast, checking out their papers and such. So far I have been impressed with San Jose, San Diego, Redding, La Jolla, Portland and Seattle...
These dreams may be cheap, but not the actualization of said dreams, so...
*I have taken a Shakespeare's cup and scrawled "London Calling" across the top. I have put all my spare change in there, whether it be from my room, my coffee outings or whatever. I save it all rather than keep it to spend on other things. The only exception to this is when I met a lady on the street tonight with no bottom teeth. She said she was homeless and just got out of jail. She got my change.
*There will be another cup for post-graduation change, to be titled "California Dreamin'" or "Ain't No Party Like a West Coast Party." I haven't quite decided yet. I guess I'll decide that when I get the money to start that cup.
*Each cup will go into a special savings and/or CD account. And the accounts will have those names. I don't care what look the teller at Bank of America gives me, I want the word "ain't" in the title. If it's the guy who looks like a Spanish Hugh Jackman, then I will be okay.
I leave you with more rap lyrics. These come from a great Minnesota rap act, and I must give props to Derek and Nat for introducing them to me. Actually, I must give Nat props, because I haven't given her too many on the blog yet. So, here goes to Earp-a-diddle, the J-lib honey, and my partner for Mass.
But for the rhymes, yo!
In the summertime the women wear a lot of skin
and if I sit in one spot I can take 'em all in
sometimes I even talk, to see if I can make one grin
if not, yo, it's cool I ain't gonna take it personally
from Anne Landers, to Ani DiFranco to Orphan Annie
I love all women, but most of them just can't stand me
I don't know, maybe it's my hair or my clothes
"...or maybe she noticed that you was diggin in you're nose...."
-Atmosphere, "Like Today"
